When Sex, Children and Arguments End, What Is Left as your Profit in Marriage.

Marriage is strange. In the beginning, two people who were once strangers suddenly have to share almost everything— a bed, money, food, family decisions, responsibilities and, sometimes, completely different opinions about how life should be lived.

There is romance, sex and excitement.

But there are also serious arguments around:

Bills.
Pregnancy.
Sleepless nights.
Raising children.
In-laws.
Household responsibilities.

And those legendary marital battles that can make two people who love each other wonder, "Why did I marry this person?"

Yet, these are not necessarily signs that marriage has failed.

They are part of the journey.

The problem is that many people want the reward of marriage without surviving the difficult stages and trouble that it produce.

The product of marriage investment may not be romance

When you are 25 or 30, you may think the greatest thing about marriage is sex.

At 35, perhaps it is watching your children grow.

At 45, you may be thinking about building wealth and securing the family. Single parent how far at this stage?

But at 65 or 70, something else may become far more valuable:

Having somebody beside you.
Someone who knows your history.
Someone who remembers the foolish things you did when you were young.
Someone who understands your silence without asking questions.
Someone you can sit beside without needing to entertain.

That is companionship.

And you cannot manufacture or get 30 years of companionship overnight. You have to build it.

This is where I think some people make a terrible mistake, majority of the new generation single mothers today.

Some marriages collapse because couples mistake the difficult early years for evidence that they chose the wrong person.

They see the arguments, sexual disagreements, financial pressure and stress of raising children and conclude

"I am not enjoying this marriage anymore."

But marriage was never supposed to remain permanently in its honeymoon or enjoyment stage. (One of the reason why some spouse cheat, seeking temporary relief and freedom from marital burden)

Children eventually grow up.

The sleepless nights reduce.

The house becomes quieter.

Your body changes.

Your sexual appetite may change.

Your career may slow down.

And suddenly, the things you thought were the most important parts of marriage are no longer the centre of your life.

Then you discover something uncomfortable:

You don't just miss sex. You miss having somebody.

Look around and you may see it

Sometimes an older person constantly wants visitors.

They want neighbours around.

They want to know everybody's business.

They quarrel with tenants.

They spend hours gossiping.

They constantly want their children to visit.

Sometimes the behaviour looks irritating from the outside.

But could some of it simply be loneliness looking for somewhere to go?

Not every quarrelsome landlord or intrusive relative is lonely, of course.

But loneliness can make people restless.

When companionship disappears, some people create unnecessary drama simply because silence is harder to endure than an argument.

Marriage is therefore an investment in your future self

The young couple fighting today may be building the old couple they will become tomorrow.

The husband who patiently endures his wife's difficult pregnancy.

The wife who stands beside her husband when money is tight.

The couple arguing about raising their children today.

The two people struggling through career failures, family problems and financial pressure.

If they survive those seasons without destroying each other, they may eventually reach a stage where the greatest gift they have is simply each other's presence.

That is why I believe people should think carefully before walking away from a marriage simply because the early years are difficult.

Of course, abuse, violence and serious harm should never be tolerated.

But ordinary marital friction?

Arguments?

Differences?

The stress of raising children?

Those things may simply be the price of the journey.

Because one day, the children may leave.

The house may become quiet.

The body may become slower.

The romantic excitement may no longer be what it was.

Your career has reached it peaked and ended, then you will be describe as "veteran", "former", "retired" or "past".

And you may finally understand that the greatest thing you built was not the house, the business or even the children.

It was the person sitting beside you.

That is the part of marriage nobody tells young couples enough about.

Marriage begins with romance, survives through cooperation, and if you are fortunate, it ends in companionship— Your biggest lifetime investment, marital retirement benefits and legacy that your career can't give you.