The Marriage Market: Identifying your Marital Goods, Role and How To Trade For Peaceful Home

In our Nigerian society today, many marriages are quietly suffering because husband and wife have stopped talking and have started trading blames. You will hear couples saying, 'I am waiting for him to change,' or 'If she cannot respect me, then no love for her.' My people, marriage is indeed a market, but it is not a market for fighting or keeping malice. It is a market where two traders, the husband and the wife, must exchange valuable goods to keep the business of the home running smoothly. If nobody is willing to make the first payment, the shop will eventually fold up.

Let us break this down in a very simple way so we can understand. The husband has the goods called 'Love,' and the wife has the money called 'Respect.' Now, how does a normal market work? The person with the money goes to the seller to buy the goods. This means the wife, who has the currency of respect and submissiveness, is the one who initiates the trade. When she presents her respect to her husband, she has paid for the love. The husband, as a good seller, cannot hold onto the goods once payment has been made. He must deliver that love, protection, and care back to his wife. This is the natural order that brings harmony and removes stress from the home.

But what do we see today? Many couples are trying to run their marriage on a credit system. The wife is saying, 'Love me first, then I will respect you later.' The husband is also saying, 'Show me respect first, or else you won't see any love from me.' This struggle is why many homes are cold. If you want to rebuild the trust in your marriage today, someone has to break the cycle. As a wife, try using your respect as a seed. Speak softly to your husband, support his vision, and honor him in front of your children and friends. As a husband, when you see this respect, do not take it for granted. Open your heart and pour out love, kindness, and appreciation on your wife. When both of you play your parts without waiting for the other, your marriage will become the sweet paradise you always wanted.

–– Edward Eborgu